Dating a Mature Man: Benefits, Tips, and What to Expect
What Is Maturity Dating?
Mature dating and maturity dating are two terms that are sometimes confused.
Mature dating refers to individuals focusing on their well-being and looking for non-toxic dynamics where they can build healthy relationships. Such people sign up on a healthy dating site as opposed to a sex-oriented platform, share their relationship boundaries, and date intentionally.
Maturity dating is a different story and it refers to dating a partner who’s on the older side and, therefore, has had enough time to get in touch with his emotions, learn to live with his feelings and understand what he wants from a romance. Such men are deemed more appropriate romantic partners as they’re more fit to build a long-term relationship.
Maturity dating has several typical characteristics:
- Conflicts are handled calmly
- Communication is direct and honest
- It’s clear what everyone’s intentions are
- There’s a focus on a long-term perspective
- Mutual support for each other’s goals and plans
Emotional Maturity vs. Physical Age
Centuries ago, when humans lived much shorter lives, anyone who reached a somewhat greater age was perceived as honorable and someone who should be respected. And it made a lot of sense! Surviving back then was not for the weak, and if you were able to get to your 30s, 40s, and so on, – you definitely knew something others didn’t!
A lot has changed since then, and we now realize that someone’s maturity doesn’t necessarily correlate with their age. In fact, emotional maturity and physical age are very different.
How?
Your physical age is simply the number of years you’ve lived on the planet Earth. However, your life experience, the events you go through, and your built-in character will greatly define how emotionally mature you’ll become.
Emotional maturity is all about the way you see the world, and handle yourself and others around you, the way you build relationships and bear responsibilities, as well as how you handle changes, difficulties, and conflicts.
You’ll easily meet 24-year-olds who are much more mature than someone who is 40. If you’ve reached midlife but aren’t able to be empathetic, have zero self-awareness, and can’t listen to what others are trying to tell you, – you’re no better than a bratty teenager.
Why Maturity Matters in Relationships
If you think maturity dating is overrated, we’re here to change your mind!
When you’re dating a mature guy, you can expect trust and respect in your union. None of that situationship BS where the partner treats you like an idiot, gaslights you, and ignores your needs. A mature lover is focused on creating a strong foundation for long-term growth.
The other reason why maturity matters is that you share goals and plans with each other. Naturally, mature partners don’t forget about their own targets when they start dating, but they make sure that whatever they have on the radar for themselves works with the way their partner sees the future and the lifestyle they both share.
Also, there’s little room for needless jealousy. Mature individuals are more secure and confident in their own worth. They’re less likely to depend on you for their self-esteem, and they don’t see their lovers as someone who belongs to them. Possessiveness is draining, and so is jealousy. With time, those two will slowly damage the relationship and create more conflicts and misunderstandings than you guys can handle.
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Differences Between Dating a Mature Guy vs. Younger Men
Having an older boyfriend who is more mature is a very different experience from being with a younger guy.
Mature guys:
- Don’t want drama. In fact, they actively avoid it
- Care for their partners’ emotional state
- Have clear romantic goals
- Are more stable with finances
- Support you in your ambitions
Younger boys:
- Can’t express their emotions clearly
- Don’t know what they want in life and in love
- Tend to avoid commitment
- Can feel insecure if you are more successful
Benefits of Dating a Mature Man
Dating a mature guy comes with many benefits.
#1 Emotional Stability and Reliability
Relationships with older guys are blessed by the Gods of emotional stability and reliability. Mature men know themselves and they’re in touch with their feelings. Because they’re more confident with who they are and the life choices they make, they’re also more reliable. If they promise something, they follow through with it, and you know you can trust them.
#2 Better Communication Skills
Communicating clearly and sustainably may seem like a basic skill that everyone should have, but that’s not the case. Somehow, many men struggle with that and if you find someone who expresses himself well and is able to listen to what you’re saying and really hear you, – those are usually men on the older side. They had the time and the experience to make mistakes, get burned, and miss out on a few great relationships due to their poor communication skills, so they’re willing to be better now.
#3 Financial and Life Stability
Money isn’t everything, and neither is stability, but both are still important. Being with a partner who has their life figured out and dating a person who’s broke and lost are not the same. We all go through life phases where we struggle, but if you’re looking for a lover then it makes sense to look for someone who’ll make your life better and more secure, and not more stressful and vulnerable.
#4 Commitment to Long-Term Relationships
Mature men have already lived a long and eventful life, they’ve dated casually, had one-night stands, been in situationships, and are now ready to move on. Naturally, there are exceptions to the rule, but more older guys will be willing to build long-term relationships and work on making them successful than their younger counterparts.
Challenges of Dating Older Men
We’ve talked about the main benefits of dating an older man, so it’s only fair if we mention the most common challenges that you can come across.
#1 Generational Differences
If your age gap is only a couple of years, then you’re going to be on the same page about most things or at least share the same cultural upbringing that will bring you closer. When you go out with an older man, however, you need to account for the differences you two will have and the potential disconnect it will create. He might not understand your slang, struggle with technology, or simply enjoy totally different things than you.
#2 Health and Lifestyle Concerns
It’s all fun and games until you’re dating a guy whose health is going downhill and you need to take care of him or give up on your goals because he’s too weak to accompany you. Also, with age, men struggle with erection and the quality of their sperm goes down too. If you want kids, it can be a rather serious concern. And even if your older man is healthy, he can have lower energy levels overall and choose a calmer lifestyle than you prefer.
#3 Different Life Goals and Expectations
Age is just a number but it also can be an indicator of where we are in life and where we strive to end up. Someone in their 30s and 40s will be more inclined to build a family and settle down than a 22-year-old. But it’s not necessarily that the younger person is more wild and the older partner is looking for a quiet life. Many men in their 50s, especially if they’ve been divorced or ended a long-term relationship, will crave to get active and experience new things, such as maybe moving to a new country, picking up an extreme hobby, or changing their career completely.
Tips for Dating an Older Man
Here are the tried-and-tested tips for dating an older man that you don’t have to follow religiously, but should definitely be aware of.
- Embrace his wisdom. If you’re dating an older man who’s been through a lot and seen a lot of life, then your best bet is to make use of his knowledge and come to him for advice and recommendations.
- Talk often and openly. Poor communication has killed more relationships than cheating. When you’re dating a person from a different age group, misunderstandings are bound to happen, but as long as you both are prioritizing open communication, there’s nothing you need to worry about.
- Respect mutual independence. Both you and your partner have your own lives and it’s important to maintain your own hobbies and social circles. Let him have some alone time and enjoy your portion of it too.
- Keep the relationship exciting. Plan fun dates, make little surprises, do staycations, and try new things together. It’s so easy to get stuck in a routine, and it can hurt the relationship.
- Learn from each other’s experiences. Just because you’re younger doesn’t mean you can’t teach him anything. Encourage open sharing of thoughts, ideas, and experiences, and embrace open-mindedness.
Relationships with Older Guys: Dos and Don'ts
Dating older guys is not rocket science, but there are dos and don’ts that you should follow to have the best experience.
Do:
- Be honest about your expectations
- Share your relationship boundaries
- Keep your own goals and social life
- Watch out for life stages you’re both in
- Respect his past experiences
Don’t:
- Expect him to be emotionally mature just because he’s older
- Let him change who you are and reshape your personality
- Avoid shared goals and plans for the future
- Rush to move to the next stage and settle down with him
Dating an Older Guy: Pros and Cons
The most common pros of dating an older man include:
- Stability
- Wisdom
- Better communication skills
- Financial security
Some of the the cons you’re likely to come across are:
- Potential health issues
- Different social circles
- Varying life goals
Is Dating an Older Man Right for You?
As you read through all the insights and advice on dating older guys, you may ask yourself – is that something I should try? Is dating someone on the older side really for me?
That’s a fantastic question to ask, and we recommend everyone to put some thought into it before jumping into a new romantic adventure with an older gentleman.
Evaluate Your Relationship Goals
Think through your relationship goals. You can find a guy for any dating target you have, but you need to know it first. Many mature guys are open to the idea of starting a family and maybe even having kids. If that’s not on your radar for a while, you’ll know to stay away from someone who craves it.
Understand Your Own Needs and Desires
Think about what’s important for you in a relationship. Do you want to have some fun and see where it takes you? Then you’re probably better off dating a person who still has more years to live. If there’s nothing you want more than to settle down, stay at home, cook delicious meals, and hang out with your partner, – then an older gentleman will be a good choice.
Consider the Power Dynamics
Someone who is considerably older will often consolidate power in the relationship. They’ll use their previous experience as leverage to make decisions for both of you. If he’s also significantly richer, then he can also start using money as a tool to control you. If you go for an older guy, make sure to have clear boundaries and watch out for any signs of dominance that he tries with you.
Look for the Right Older Man
Not all older guys are equally fit to be dating you. Watch out for signs of an emotionally mature man when going through your dating candidates. Really sort through to find a guy who is a good communicator, supportive, secure, confident, and empathetic.
